So I was not going to post this evening, until this little gem popped up on my radar:
Sheriff: Woman sat on toilet for 2 years

 Very reminiscent of an episode of Nip/Tuck. Basically this woman sat down on the toilet and decided not to get up. Her boyfriend lives with her and lived with her two years ago when she started. He finally decided recently to call for help. Apparently he tried to get her to leave the bathroom, by asking her to. When she refused he still brought her food and water.

The really sad part is: SHe had been sitting there for so long that her skin had grown arround the toilet seat. They had to remove the toilet seat so she could go to the hospital to have it removed. I am sorry, but if anyone is sitting on my toilet for more then 2 hrs, I am forcing them off. I will call the cops. I would do something. I would not continue to bring them food and water. I would stop bringing food and call 911. Actually I would have never started bringing them food in the first place.

Then I started thinking about unwanted houseguests. I had that problem once. I thought I had fixed it by changing the locks, only to find out they had been given a key a few weeks later. So far that is the only case of problem house guests. I am sure there will be more.

Question: How would you get someone of the toilet?