Spit less, queue better…
Funny, International| February 11th, 2008
Beijing, China is hosting the Olympics this year which means a lot of international scrutiny on Beijing and China. Countries and reporters have already been warned and educated about cultural differences and to not focus on humanitarian issues affecting the country. China is doing its part to keep the eye off of its shortcomings in the humanitarian department by not only reducing the amount of public spitting but also by improving queueing.
City boasts less spitting, better queuing
Now that is something to be proud of and really sets them apart as a socially refined and classy world power. What’s more important? Keeping people from spitting on the streets or helping the millions of people displaced by an over-sized damn, destroying vast ecosystems and displaying countless other animals? My vote is the no spitting. That is a gross habit and I for one think anyone caught spitting should be allowed to have no more then one child and be forced to use bribery to get a license to have said child.
Add better queueing, which is just fancy talk for standing in a line, and I will even let you include substandard manufacturing and quality practices. Hell, I could use a little more lead in my diet. But what really makes me envy the Chinese, they get to celebrate “voluntary wait in line day” on the 11th of every month. What I wouldn’t give to be able to just pick a line on the 11th and stand there. I suppose that would mean the rest of the time I could just march my way right up to the front of the line and not have to wait like everyone else. I think the only thing China could do to further improve their queueing is to make qui’s punishable by 6 months in prison and make people take a standardized queueing license exam before being allowed the privilege of being part of a line.
If all they have for me is less spitting and better lines and a stern talking to about overlooking the rest then I should move to China. At least they have faster internet connections.
One Response to “Spit less, queue better…”
February 13th, 2008 at 2:00 am
If you knew how Asians spit, you would appreciate any reduction. All the men smoke. Smokers build up phlem in their lungs. They clear their throats like they are trying to spit a lugi across the room, then they spit. Indoors or outdoors, they don’t care. I once saw a grown asian man sitting at a desk in a class I was teaching. He was a middle aged math teacher. He cleared his throat, then drooled the phlem slowly out of his mouth so that is landed softly on a piece of paper on the floor. He thought he was being considerate.
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